


I Hate You, I Love You

by megupic



Series: Chlonath Drabbles [5]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Chlonath Week, Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/M, chlonath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-12 07:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megupic/pseuds/megupic
Summary: Nath has moved to New York to pursue his artistic career, but Chloe isn't with him. The indecision caused the couple to split and Nath isn't handling the breakup well.





	1. Part 1

Nath stared out at the gray New York skyline. Rain poured down and made the world outside blur like a watercolor painting. He let out a soft sigh. At least the weather outside reflected his mood.

He opened up his photo gallery on his phone and scrolled through the endless pictures of Chloe, feeling the ache in his chest constrict and throb with every one. What she’d said before he’d left for his internship was terrible and yet…

His finger brushed over her picture, wishing so badly he could be back in Paris just so they could at least try to fix this.

With a frustrated grunt, he threw his phone onto his bed. What was the matter with him?! He should be angry at her, not wanting to kiss and make up. But still…he missed her smell, he missed the way her body fit against his. He missed the airy little giggle she would make when he kissed her just the right way. 5,837 kilometers, eight and a half hours away. And he wouldn’t be back in Paris for six months.

 _Stop thinking about her. You need sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning_ , he told himself.  _You’re jet lagged and everything is new. You just need to adjust and forget about her. You’ll be fine._

So he slowly got ready for bed and passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He woke to the bright, cheery melody of his phone alarm going off. He groaned and blindly reached for it, hoping to turn off the infernal noise.

“Chlo…turn that off, will you?” he mumbled. But she didn’t answer him and when he cracked open his eyes and turned over, he felt his heart sank when he saw the empty space next to him. That’s right…he was in New York and she wasn’t here.

He located his phone and turned off the alarm. As much as he hated it, forgetting about her and focusing on his internship was easier said than done. He closed his eyes and let the waves of longing and nostalgia wash over him.

_Well maybe I just won’t go with you anymore!_

Her parting words to him still stung. When he’d gotten to the airport, he’d still expected to see her rushing through the crowds. They were supposed to kiss and apologize and then hurry onto the plane together, everything perfect again… But she hadn’t come. He’d waited until the very last possible moment, and she hadn’t come.

_No, Nath. Think of anything else. Think of something happy._

Immediately the memory of one of their most recent dates came to mind. They’d taken a holiday out to the beach where her family had a cottage. They’d laughed together and he’d ended up having to drag her into the water after she’d insisted she just wanted to tan. A few splashes had her running in after him, swearing vengeance. That night they’d sat by a driftwood fire and had talked in hushed tones about the future…about them coming to New York together so he could do his internship and she’d find some kind of shopping consultant job. He still remembered the feel of her cashmere sweater, the scent of her french vanilla perfume mixed with the sea salt in the air. He remembered the warm blush on her cheeks when he kissed her softly and slowly. That night had been the happiest he’d ever been in a long time.

 _How did it go so wrong so fast?_  He wondered, recalling the day before they were supposed to leave for New York.  Her words still stung.

_Go ahead and go, Nath. It’s not like I need you to take care of me. That’s what Daddy’s money’s for and if you won’t accept it, then maybe I just won’t go with you. Stay an ungrateful street rat for all I care!_

She’d crossed the line. She didn’t mean it…or at least not completely. He knew that. But still, the words had felt like a punch to the gut and it made him see red. He’d said things he wasn’t sure if he meant or if he regretted. He probably would still say them if given another chance.

So then why couldn’t he stop thinking about her? Why did he still miss her and need her when she’d been so cruel?

“Damn it!” he yelled, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt hot tears slowly run down his face. He hated that he loved her so much..and now it was probably too late to fix things.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nath starts his first day of work, and finds a surprise waiting for him.

Nath made his way down New York’s busy streets, strangers’ shoulders jarring his. He didn’t even feel them. He missed Paris already and it had only been a month. Even though New York was a big, bustling city like Paris, it was more hectic for some reason. Everything was faster paced and people were ruder and everything was louder. Or was that just because he was missing home? **  
**

Not to mention it was raining and he’d lost his umbrella somewhere in the move. Or Chloe had stolen it. He wouldn’t be surprised if she’d stolen some of his stuff out of spite despite it being _her_ fault that they’d broken up.

Whatever.

So he pushed his way through to the metro, then back onto the rainy streets to his internship which was in a small studio off a smaller street somewhere amongst all the skyscrapers and glass. He hadn’t bothered learning more about the city other than where to buy groceries and where his apartment and work were.

He was almost there, according to his phone, when someone shoved into his shoulder.

“Hey, watch where you’re going, loser!”

He stopped and whipped around, glaring at the offender. His glare promptly slid off his face when he saw that it was a young, blonde woman, her hair pulled into a high ponytail. She was dressed nicely in what was probably a designer-brand black raincoat and held a yellow umbrella.

All thoughts of being late to his internship went out of his mind as he took off running after her, slipping on the slick pavement.

“Hey, wait!” he called out in English.

He reached out a hand for the woman’s shoulder, which she promptly froze, her posture going rigid at his touch.

“Wait, please,” he huffed, only to have his breath stop short as the woman turned around.

She was blonde and had a bitchy attitude, but it wasn’t her. The nose wasn’t quite as slim and her eyes were brown. Immediately he felt his face grow hot and he quickly took back his hand from her shoulder.

“I-um…sorry-sorry, I’m so sorry,” he stammered. “I thought you were someone else.”

“It’s okay…” the woman said, although the look on her face said it was anything but. She quickly backed away and practically ran away from him, glancing back nervously at him as she left.

Wow, how pathetic was he, mistaking a complete stranger for Chloe? He’d been trying to move on without her and here he was, seeing her in complete strangers. So much for moving on.

He almost missed the door to the graphic design studio he was interning at. It blended in with the brick wall, which was covered in colorful and bright graffiti, and was small and narrow on an easily-forgotten side street in Manhattan. It was hard to believe such a small and humble-looking studio worked for prominent American artists and companies. With a resigned sigh he pushed open the door and was met with yelling.

Just not at him.

The tiny print shop was occupied by only two people on either side of the front counter: his co-worker, Joss, and a problematic customer. He’d know that bitchy, my-daddy-will-hear-about-this voice.

Or at least, he thought he did. Unless this was just another woman who also had platinum blonde hair and wore black stilettos on a rainy day.

“I’m telling you, lady,” the guy spit, “He ain’t here!”

The lady made an exasperated noise. “And I’m telling you that he’s supposed to be here! He told me this was where he was interning!” She was speaking in a heavy French accent, her words were nearly lost in what he guessed what sounded to Joss was a mouth full of marbles. But he understood her. He knew that voice, even if other women looked like her from the back.

“Yeah, well he ain’t here yet, so either get out or wait!”

“Ugh, this is ridiculous! Totally ridiculous,” she muttered, spinning around on her heels and coming to a short stop when she spotted him.

It was her. Chloe’s bright blue eyes widened, her mouth forming a little ‘o’ as she stared at him. He suddenly wished he’d bought an umbrella instead of relying on just his jacket. He looked like a stray that was dragged in from the rain. He flushed under her scrutiny, feeling a wave of anger at himself immediately after.

_It’s over, Nath. You shouldn’t care what she thinks of you anymore._

But he did. He wanted her to say something— anything— even if it was to tell him he looked like a drowned stray. Because that meant that she still cared.

“What are you doing here, Chlo?” he whispered, not being able to find the rest of his voice.

Chloe shot an annoyed over her shoulder at Joss He was now glaring at the both of them, which only got worse when Chloe took his hand and dragged him out the door.

“Why are you dragging me out here? It’s wet and cold!” he complained to her.

“Because I didn’t want him to overhear us and get into our business,” she huffed, hugging herself, his purple umbrella hung loosely from her wrist. So she  _did_ have it…

“I’m sure he doesn’t understand French,” he commented dryly.

“Still! I don’t want his beady eyes glaring at me. He’s so  _rude_.”

 _I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing about you, Chlo_ , Nath thought. He couldn’t help but smile though, even though he knew he was supposed to be mad at her.

“Your hair’s gonna get ruined,” he reminded her. They were already both soaked. She rolled her eyes and glared up at him.

“I came to talk to you. Some things are more important than hair.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “Alright…”

She took a deep breath, as if prepping herself before letting it out and saying in a big rush, “I miss you.”

He stared at her. He couldn’t think of what to say; there was a part of him that was screaming with joy and already picking her up and twirling her around in the rain because  _thank god_! But the other part of him, the more practical part of him, was already interrogating her, his pent up frustration and anger and hurt from their sudden break-up and her absence roiled around in the pit of his stomach like poison.

_Why did you wait a month to tell me this?_

_Why bother when it was you who let me go?_

_Isn’t there something else you’d like to say??_

Her expression crumpled under his silence and she quickly continued, her words suddenly spilling out of her like a broken dam. “I was stupid, really stupid, for not coming with you. It’s just that when you refused my father’s money and said you wanted to work it on your own I got scared. I only know a life with that money and security and honestly the idea of living somewhere less than a luxury loft or five star hotel terrified me. I don’t know how to take care of myself, Nath! And you’re still in university and I didn’t know what would happen so I panicked and pushed you away.”

Just hearing her continue on like this drove a knife into his chest, every word a little twist that deepened the hole. He didn’t know if it was because seeing Chloe like this, soaked and stammering out excuses, was pitiful to him, or if it was because the fight he’d tried so hard to forget suddenly felt very fresh and recent and it  _hurt_.

Very quietly, hardly louder than the sound of the rain pouring down around them, he said, “That doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

Her eyebrows scrunched together and she pressed her lips into a thin line he knew was a sign that she was trying not to cry, which only shocked him further. Chloe Bourgeois didn’t cry. At least not in public. She only cried when she was truly distraught or scared. She only cried over stuff that was worth crying over.

He felt a little bad about it, but a faint flutter of hope rose in his chest knowing she still considered him worth crying over.

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” she demanded, an embarrassed flush rising to her cheeks. “I want you back, Nath. I want to try again. Why else do you think I flew all the way over here?”

“Well you  _have_  been known to taking impromptu trips all over the globe,” he joked weakly. He watched a strange combination of outrage and amusement cross her face until she swatted his arm.

“Are you seriously trying to  _joke_  right now? I’m being serious!”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry, sorry. I believe you. I just…”

Her expression fell. “What? Do you not want to…to do this again? Was I stupid in coming here?” He could tell she was trying to look angry, but he could see the hurt clearly in her eyes.

What  _did_  he want? It’d taken her a month to realize she’d messed up, or at the very least, act on her regret and fly all the way to New York for him. He was mad at her and still hurt but…that wasn’t enough to quell the absolute joy over hearing her say that she wanted to try again.

“No Chlo, you weren’t stupid for coming here,” he whispered, taking her hand. “You just surprised me, is all. If we did do it again though, we couldn’t go back to exactly what we were doing before. We need to talk about some things first.”

“Is this about the money?” He hesitated. That was all she needed to bulldoze on. “Because we don’t have to take Daddy’s money. It’ll suck and I’ve never been poor before but I can try for you.”

Was the woman in front of him really Chloe Bourgeois?? Him leaving must’ve been a hell of a wake-up call for her to be saying _this_  to him. Was she seriously willing to give up all her normal comforts: hair appointments, silk sheets, designer clothes, a chauffeur…all just for him?

And then he thought of his bare loft apartment and all the cereal and ramen in the cupboards. He cringed thinking of bringing Chloe there and having her live like that.

“You don’t have to do that, although I really appreciate that you’d be willing to just for me, Chlo. We can meet somewhere in the middle. I don’t want to be completely dependant on your father, but if he wants to help, I won’t say no.”

Her face lit up, her pale pink lips stretching into a wide smile. “You mean it?”

He started to nod and then she was practically jumping on him, taking his face in her hands and kissing him. He laughed and kissed her back with equal enthusiasm. It was messy and their lips didn’t quite match up and they were both completely soaked through because of the rain, but Nath didn’t feel the cold.


End file.
